my mouth tastes like poor choices
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
a search helicopter?!
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
