..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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