How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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