At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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