so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
