My brain says no but my pants say off.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
