We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Randomize
