Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm like, not good at living.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
