All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Randomize
