Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
