capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
