You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
