what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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