Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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