So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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