If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
