Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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