you guys were way drunker than both of me
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
