I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
