I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Boobs are out for the taking
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
