Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize