If i come over, it means nothing
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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