she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
