I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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