nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
