You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
