Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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