Can i not drive my cunt home
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
