Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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