would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
