I don't remember. Are we still dating?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
What a dumb baby whore.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
