You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Why can't burritos get me drunk
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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