I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
