You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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