I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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