Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
