I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
