Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
