You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
