is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
