im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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