We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
