Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Success! We fucked roommates!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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