you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
