Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize