i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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