I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
