Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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