Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
