are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
