If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
