one two three fourrrrnication!
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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