apparently the secret to your success is patron
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
