So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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