I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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