I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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