After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I need a burrito and a hug.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
