Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
