I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize