we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
