Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
