did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
