Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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