I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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