Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize